No Time to Say Goodbye

Carla Fine

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No Time to Say Goodbye

No Time to Say Goodbye Suicide would appear to be the last taboo Even incest is now discussed freely in the popular media but the suicide of a loved one is still an act most people are unable to talk about or even admit to

  • Title: No Time to Say Goodbye
  • Author: Carla Fine
  • ISBN: 9780385485517
  • Page: 215
  • Format: Paperback
  • Suicide would appear to be the last taboo Even incest is now discussed freely in the popular media, but the suicide of a loved one is still an act most people are unable to talk about or even admit to their closest family and friends This is just one of the many painful and paralyzing truths author Carla Fine discovered when her husband, a successful young physician, toSuicide would appear to be the last taboo Even incest is now discussed freely in the popular media, but the suicide of a loved one is still an act most people are unable to talk about or even admit to their closest family and friends This is just one of the many painful and paralyzing truths author Carla Fine discovered when her husband, a successful young physician, took his own life in December 1989 And being unable to speak openly and honestly about the cause of her pain made it all the difficult for her to survive With No Time to Say Goodbye, she brings suicide survival from the darkness into the light, speaking frankly and with compassion about the overwhelming feelings of confusion, guilt, shame, anger and loneliness that are shared by all survivors Drawing on her own experience and on conversations with many other survivors as well as on the knowledge of counselors and mental health professionals Carla Fine offers a strong helping hand and invaluable guidance to the thousands of husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, friends and lovers who are left behind each year, struggling to make sense of an act that seems to them senseless, and to pick up the pieces of their own shattered lives And, perhaps most important, she allows them to see that they are not alone in their feelings of grief and despair.Her resource section, listing organizations and survivor groups throughout the United States and Canada, as well as her bibliography of further reading, will, in themselves, provide invaluable information and support.

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      Published :2019-02-14T07:19:13+00:00

    One thought on “No Time to Say Goodbye

    1. Karen on said:

      My husband died as a result of suicide and this book was recommended in just about every piece of helpful information pertaining to suicide. It's an incredible book written by a woman who knows the anguish of losing someone you love without the chance to say goodbye. She interviewed people from all walks of life who have survived the loss of someone they knew and loved. This book helped me more than anything else I read.

    2. Luanne Cali on said:

      No, we are not going crazy and we are not the only ones. This book tells the stories of a number of men and women who lost various loved ones to suicide. They tell about how it was in the beginning and how it has become some time later.Carla addresses the issue of emotional wreckage as well as practical problems that arise - financial, social, life from now on.The stories relate how grief relating to suicide is so different than from other types of grief. After all, the loved one chose to leave [...]

    3. Melissa on said:

      I read this book nearly 15 years ago. After losing my brother, I had tried therapy, medication, and tons of books, to help me find some kind of help, a reason, an explanation. I didn't want the psychobable or telling me what my brain wants me to think an act. I stumbled across this book and I have to tell you that I would recommend this to anyone that has lost a loved one to suicide. This book gives all different kinds of stories of what happened to others when they lost loved ones. There isn't [...]

    4. K on said:

      I just lost a friend to suicide in the past two weeks. I felt that I wasn't coping very well so I thought finding a book on the subject might help me process some things and feel less alienated from the world. This was the highest rated book on so I gave it a chance. I would have read it all in one sitting if I hadn't been so exhausted from my grief. It absolutely helped in the way that I had hoped it would. Even though I didn't have to deal with the legal aftermath of a suicide, it opened my e [...]

    5. Allyson on said:

      A difficult but necessary read for anyone who has been affected by the suicide of a loved one. I found Fine's writing to be a great comfort to me.

    6. Lynn Tolson on said:

      The subject of suicide is difficult to share. Ms. Fine is courageous to show the readers the depth of her devastation after the suicide of her husband. Although there is no how-to book on surviving the suicide of someone close, this book comes close in defining the emotions that surface in the aftermath. Others will see that they are not alone.The author lets the readers into her own experience with the first chapter, where she describes her husband’s suicide scenario. As a physician, he knew [...]

    7. Ruth on said:

      This book is about suicide. But it not as much of a downer as you might think. It works as kind of a textbook with a practical tone that tries to help someone through, or at least understand, the experience. The author's husband killed himself, and, in addition to her story, she includes many vignettes of other people's horrible stories of losing their loved ones. The author's husband was, of course, in a great deal of pain before he killed himself. He must have been so mired in hopelessness to [...]

    8. Tori on said:

      1 - It seems like this is the book most often mentioned by people that have lost a loved one to suicide. It was ok, but it was definitely not the most helpful one for me personally. Since so many people seem to get a lot out of it, it makes me wonder if I just read it a week or two too soon. It was the first book that I read after I lost my brother, and it was probably on about day 6 or 7. This book really scared me about what I was in for. Actually, now that I am looking back on it typing this [...]

    9. Elisse on said:

      For my job as a teacher in a special program, I am reading a series of books about mental health issues that adolescents struggle with. My recent focus is on suicide, so I thought this book would be a good contrast to the other books I've read about the people who commit suicide. The author is the widow of a doctor who took his own life using medical technology. This book is a compassionate look at the many issues that confront the survivors of suicide victims. She tells her own story, but also [...]

    10. Cindy on said:

      A true life account of living through the days after a loved ones suicide. Very emotional and close to the same type of book as one called My Son, My Son by Iris Bolton. It was a hard book to read because of the emotional descriptions used by the author. Almost even more on the angry side until the last chapter of the book where it talked about siblings and feelings. Very good chapters that dealt mainly with groups like spouses, parents and siblings, etc.

    11. Abby on said:

      This book came recommended to me by a family member who previously experienced a suicide loss. It was both therapeutic and difficult to read at the same time. It is helpful to know we aren't alone, but to read story after story of survivors is heart wrenching. It hurts to know that so many people in this world have been where we are and will be where we are. There were many helpful parts within this book on the healing, coping, surviving this loss.

    12. Grant on said:

      Absolutely transformative. The only thing that I have read, watched or discussed that let me know and made me feel that I am not alone in my grief, and that everything I've felt is 'normal' throughout this process, which has been over 9 months. Definitely makes me want to look into group therapy. A must read for anyone grieving over a suicide.

    13. Brandi Coffey on said:

      Very HelpfulThis book has done more than I would have guessed to help ease the pain of loss. Just hearing stories of others triumph over the pain was of great comfort.

    14. Amanda Foster on said:

      My father shot himself 3 months ago. This book was an answer to prayer.

    15. Nicole on said:

      Even though we are nearly through the month of May, I wish to point out that May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Couldn't pick a better time to review this book. With one out of every four adults suffering from a mental illness, we can no longer afford to stay quiet and let the subject remain taboo.Not only is this deeply personally for me, but May is a particularly hard month for me. You see, the second week this month marked a year since my own father committed suicide and the final week wi [...]

    16. Amy Carlisle on said:

      A Difficult, Yet Important ReadWhen I lost both brothers to suicide in 2011, this book was my unconditional guide and listener. Carla Fine reaches out to those of us who are dealing, processing, healing, forgiving, and continuing to love in the midst of this huge loss: I can relate intimately to Ms. Fine's personal story as well as the many in-depth explorations of many different people from diverse backgrounds express their agony at losing what very much feels a part of themselves both physical [...]

    17. Sherry on said:

      Having this experience in my life, as my son competed suicide in 2002, I searched and searched for a way to understand and wrap my mind around that truth. This book shared many stories of lost survivors of suicide. I realize one can't make Any sense of such an act, but it seemed I was able to grasp of the depth of pain one is usually experiencing to attempt such an end, And it did help me to focus on the things my son did accomplish and celebrate what a wonderful person he was! It helped me to o [...]

    18. Karen on said:

      If you have suffered from this type of loss, this is a book that gives you a "group" to be in privately. I had worked through many of the issues that were talked about in the book, but several of the interviews with people who had lost loved ones to suicide were especially helpful to me. The author tells her own story, but it is interwoven with the stories of others who wanted to tell their story anonymously. If you are a counselor or pastor, this tells it like it is. It is not a pretty picture. [...]

    19. China Flanigan on said:

      This book helped me process the death of my partner. Suicide is traumatic. This was my first experience with losing a lover and my first experience with suicide. Although I had wonderful support through friends, it's so difficult to know what to say. You just want to hear from someone who has lived through it. Someone who can tell you that what your feeling is normal. This book offers so many stories of people in all different relationships, dealing with the aftermath of suicide. It gave me some [...]

    20. Deanna on said:

      The loss of a loved one to suicide is a nearly unbearable loss, and the circumstances of the loss are isolating in a way other losses are not. This is a well-written book that lets family and friends of the person who died by suicide know that they are not alone and that their reactions are shared by others. The author uses her experience to illustrate particular points and deftly weaves in the stories of other survivors to demonstrate variations of the point. I found the book to be well-researc [...]

    21. Pamela on said:

      Although I am still reading this, I just have to say this is one of the most depressing books I have ever read. However, if you have known anyone who has committed suicide, this is an excellent book to read. The author shares her own story as well as that of 60 other suicide survivors. Her main messages are that survivors are not alone, no matter how isolated they may feel; that suicide is devastating to the survivors; that no emotion is wrong or strange. There are no answers given--the motives [...]

    22. Tessa (FutureAuthor23) on said:

      This book is for people who have lost loved ones to suicide. I read this after my mom took her life but she is not the first person I know to have died this way. It probably would've got a higher rating from me if I had read it after my other loved ones' suicides but when someone as close to you as a mother kills herselfis book just didn't get to the heart of what I was feeling the depths of my griefke I was so hoping it would. But it did touch on some of my feelings and grazed some of my pain.

    23. Sue on said:

      The first book that I read within the first 2-3 weeks after our son's death. My emotions were extremely raw, but I found this book to be exactly what I needed. I found our son, so her detailed description of what she found with her husband did not shock me, nor did the details of survivor stories that were gathered from her interviews. These accounts might be too much for others so beware.I am actually skimming through it again and writing some notes in my journal. This is another book that I wi [...]

    24. Jennifer Aupke on said:

      A beautiful book, well written, that provides important perspective and strength to any survivor of suicide. My brother in law took his life 3years ago, 6 weeks after the birth of my amazing and gorgeous nephew. How he could leave his young family behind will always mystify me, but how my sister and nephew can survive will have to be deliberate and with life. We always talk about the suicide, but hardly ever consider the journey of the survivors. This book is therapy to anyone who has lost a lov [...]

    25. Kirk Johnson on said:

      composed largely of a wide variety of stories from those affected by suicide, with a continuing thread from the author's own experience, this book was if nothing else good at stirring up enough thoughts to help a bit in processing things. not a revelation, but certainly helpful. my main resentment is irrational: it reads a bit like the self-help book it is meant to be. also, i am used to reading books on suicide by authors who have been through their own attempts and more viscerally understand t [...]

    26. Alli B on said:

      I was given this book by my counselor after I lost a family member to suicide. It gives many survivor stories that are quite graphic at times, but also provides comfort that there are other people going through similar processes. I found the chapters about the stigma, the search for whys, the effect on families, and forgiving them/forgiving ourselves to be the most helpful. I would recommend reading this book gradually because it is intense and emotional reading.

    27. Catherine on said:

      I know a lot of people found this book comforting but for me it was the opposite. It was near impossible to read it without becoming more depressed because it's just story after story of different suicides with no answers to the why. I had to skim a lot of it because it was just too hard to get through. Maybe it's better to read this a year or so from now but one month after I've been touched by suicide was too early for me to read this and it did not help at all.

    28. Jonathan on said:

      I am a mental health professional and read this book when I first started working with military families in which there had been a death by suicide. About a year before I read it, a long time family friend had taken his own life, and I found this book very helpful, both for my personal needs, and also for my professional work. It really was a great introduction. It is a very honest, raw look at suicide, and I really appreciated that.

    29. Abby on said:

      This book is about after someone you loves commits suicide. No one I was close to committed suicide, but a neighbor's son who had lived by us for a couple years did (he was living in Missouri at the time). It was sad, and it made me pick this book off the shelf. The book was really depressing. I would not suggest reading it unless you have a loved one commit suicide and want to hear how others dealt with it. Otherwise, it will just seriously bum you out.

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